We are so happy to announce that we have a baby in bloom, due April 2019!
If you follow me on Instagram, you would’ve seen this announcement already – and on there I also disclosed that I was excited to share this stylized photo shoot, which captured the joy and beauty of such a big life moment, but also to share more of my thoughts and feelings on my blog that couldn’t be displayed in a tiny photo square or through a caption on Instagram for those who wanted to know more.
In the spirit of that, I want to share on here what I wrote when I found out I was pregnant, and also what I’ve written in note form in the weeks since then. I think this is going to be a special time to document, and I’ve found this blog space to be a great outlet through which to really open up, because so many of you seem to appreciate truth and the realness that tends to come along with my ramblings.
So here, if you’re interested are the first thoughts I wrote down after finding out I was expecting:
“Three days ago, I received the surprise of a lifetime.
It came in the form of two lines, on two consecutive white sticks with translucent pink caps.
As I sat on the toilet in our small (teeny-tiny small) bathroom in our little Hawaii apartment, I watched in disbelief as the pregnancy test I’d just picked up from Long Drugs revealed those two, immediate and clear-as-day lines, indicating that life would hereafter never, ever be the same.
Those unassuming, pink-capped white sticks somehow indicated a baby, a thought which seemed to, right at that moment, squeeze hold of my heart and cause it to start pumping blood fiercely, and thump hard as a knock against my chest. I was seized with incredible disbelief, panic, joy, hilarity, and ultimately shock as I contemplated the news that I had sitting in front of me. News that I learned alone (it was a Wednesday in the middle of a work day, and my husband didn’t know I was taking a pregnancy test). I did mention the “surprise of a lifetime bit,” right?
The rest of my day was spent shaking, googling, calling my mom, and waiting with mounting anticipation and nerves for Christian to get home from work. When I sat him down, took a deep, shaky breath and told him the news – his reaction changed my world. He at first expressed disbelief – “no you’re not!” – and then laughed, smiling widely, and assured me that we could do this, and that this was the way life was meant to happen for us; that this was wonderful news. It wasn’t, at that exact moment in time, our plan – but every day since it has felt more and more like our dream, if we’d been clever enough to come up with it on our own. What is life anyway, if not one grand old surprise?
I’ve since also jotted down some jumbled thoughts I knew I’d want to remember from the first trimester of this pregnancy, which I couldn’t seem to organize into proper paragraphs, or even proper sentences.
- Baby names! I’ve been collecting them since I started reading books. So a long time. 🙂 It’ll just be a matter of choosing!
- I’ve always had an itch to be a young mom, but now with it as my reality, I feel more inexperienced and youthful than you can possibly imagine; constantly wondering if I’m up to this challenge. #HonestyPolicy
- I’ve spent a lot of time on Pinterest and Instagram searching for space-saving nursery ideas. It’s been ‘baby in a small apartment inspo’ overload. We don’t have much space here, so love will fill every single nook and cranny. It’ll be cozy as f***. (How optimistic am I?!
- Can I still sometimes curse as a mom-to-be, sans judgment?
- I all the sudden have heightened goals and ambitions for myself and my family; in all different directions. It sort of feels like stepping off a merry-go-round and trying to walk a path.
- I already miss constantly indulging on champagne and hot cheetos. Although, I’m kind of happy that pregnancy acts as a cleanse. You go, little babe! You’ve motivated me like nothing else has.
- I love my husband right now more than I could possibly express.
- But … I cry and get irritated quicker than you can think to yourself: “That won’t last.” 😉
- Like, one day I woke up crying, picturing myself with a huge belly trying to dress for the holidays, imagining Bridget Jones type ridiculousness.
- I thought I loved Mamma Mia before this……. HA. The obsession is now unrivaled.
- It’s just weird knowing my body will continue to grow outward no matter how healthy I try to eat (LOL) or how well I can keep up an exercise routine.
- My doctors have advised against me continuing hot yoga — I went once at 6 weeks before I knew I shouldn’t and it felt SO good, and I miss it a lot. I’ve been trying to do prenatal yoga on my own since then.
- We first heard babe’s heartbeat at 9 weeks and 4 days, and saw lots of movement!
- I confided in Christian at 10 weeks about having pregnancy blues, which I’m very grateful to have read about first on Barefoot Blonde, and he was so sweet and understanding, and came up with the idea of me saying 3 good things that happened to me each day before bed, just to end every day on a happy note.
- At 11 weeks I started feeling so much more like “me” again, and my energy and motivation seem to have gone way back up at the end of the first trimester. That is a huge relief! I was slug-level lazy for quite a few weeks.
I hope you guys enjoyed this life update! If any of you are moms or dads with good tips on baby products, registry must-haves, etc., let me know in the comments below! Or just drop in to say hello or chat! Thanks, as always for following along ❤️